Why Awakening Feels Like Dying: The Convergence of the Dark Night of the Soul & The Void
You think you’ve hit your lowest point—and then something deeper cracks open.
Not just physical pain. Not just sadness. But a silence so loud it erases your joy, your identity, your will to keep going.
You’re not just tired. You’re being unmade.
This isn’t burnout. This isn’t depression.
This is what happens when the Dark Night of the Soul collides with The Void—a rare and brutal overlap that marks the death of the version of you that was never meant to go the distance.
And it can feel like you’re actually dying.
What Is the Dark Night of the Soul?
You don’t usually realize you’ve entered the Dark Night at first.
It often begins subtly—a creeping sense that something’s “off.” Maybe it’s your work. Maybe it’s your relationship. Maybe it’s the things you used to love no longer lighting you up.
But then it deepens.
It sharpens.
It breaks.
Suddenly, you’re not just questioning things.
You’re unraveling.
The Symptoms of the Dark Night Are Emotional—but It’s Not Depression
This is one of the most misunderstood parts of awakening.
The Dark Night of the Soul mimics depression—but it has a different root.
It’s not a chemical imbalance.
It’s not just burnout.
It’s your soul actively tearing down every false identity it no longer wants to carry.
You may find yourself:
Weeping out of nowhere, even when nothing "happened"
Unable to feel joy in the things that once meant everything to you
Feeling isolated, even when surrounded by people
Wondering if anyone—even your guides—can still hear you
You may stop answering texts.
You may stare at your ceiling for hours.
You may beg for a sign… and hear nothing.
But that silence isn’t abandonment.
It’s a forced stillness so the old can fall away without distraction.
What’s Dying During the Dark Night?
The version of you who:
Had to be strong all the time
Built your worth on performance or productivity
Survived by being agreeable, needed, or useful
Measured your value by how much you gave, helped, or endured
This version kept you safe.
They got you this far.
But they are exhausted now.
And your soul no longer wants to operate on survival—it wants truth, authenticity, and peace.
So they have to go.
And that grief?
It’s real.
Because you’re not just letting go of a coping strategy.
You’re letting go of a self—a loyal one. A strong one. A version who really tried.
And it’s okay to miss them, even as you let them dissolve.
How Long Does It Last?
There’s no one-size answer.
Some dark nights last days. Some last years.
And sometimes, they come in waves.
But what shifts the experience isn’t “doing more.”
It’s surrender.
Not in a disempowered way—but in the way a caterpillar surrenders to the cocoon.
The more you resist, the longer you stay trapped in the breakdown.
The more you soften, the sooner you find the space to rebuild.
What Helps When You're In It:
Let yourself cry—even if you don’t “know why”
Write letters to the version of you that’s fading
Let go of the pressure to feel inspired, happy, or productive
Ask yourself gently: “What am I no longer willing to carry?”
And most of all, speak these words to yourself when it gets hard:
“This is not the end of me. This is the end of the version of me I no longer need.”
What Is the Void?
If the Dark Night of the Soul is where everything hurts,
the Void is where everything... stops.
The emotion flattens.
The fire goes out.
And you’re left staring at a blank wall—internally and externally.
You don’t feel sad.
You don’t feel joyful.
You just don’t feel like anything.
This Is Not Depression. It’s a Soul Reset.
In depression, there’s often a desire to feel something again. A longing. A pain. A despair.
In the Void, even that’s gone.
You may notice:
Time feels warped—days blur, motivation dissolves
Nothing “sticks”—ideas, plans, dreams feel like vapor
You don’t recognize yourself, but don’t yet feel new
You question whether you’ll ever care about anything again
And the scariest part?
Nothing feels wrong enough to explain it.
You might look fine.
You might even be functioning.
But inside, you feel invisible, irrelevant, disconnected.
So What Is the Void, Then?
The Void is a sacred pause that follows the death of your old self, before the next self has fully arrived.
It’s the space between identities, dreams, and desires.
It’s not meant to be filled.
It’s meant to be felt.
This is where your nervous system recalibrates.
Where your soul rewrites the blueprint.
Where you stop performing and simply exist.
It’s deeply uncomfortable for those of us conditioned to do, heal, fix, or serve constantly.
Because in the Void... none of those things work.
Common Thoughts While in the Void:
“I don’t care about anything anymore.”
“Everything feels meaningless.”
“Why should I try if nothing moves me?”
“I’m floating. I’m forgotten. I’m just here.”
And perhaps most haunting:
“What if I never come back?”
But here’s the truth:
You’re not meant to “come back.”
You’re meant to emerge as someone completely new.
Why the Void Feels So Threatening
Because the ego—your mind’s sense of self—hates undefined space.
It wants to know:
Who am I?
What’s my role?
What’s next?
But the Void doesn’t answer those questions.
Instead, it invites you to sit in the silence of not knowing... until the answers rise organically, from your soul—not from fear.
This is the rewilding of your spirit.
Where truth grows in quiet, unseen places.
How to Survive the Void (Without Filling It Too Soon)
Rest more than feels “productive”
Let yourself feel empty without trying to rush out of it
Resist the urge to grab a new identity, path, or belief just to feel “normal” again
Trust the sacred wisdom of stillness
You are not being forgotten.
You are being reformatted.
Just because you can’t feel forward momentum, doesn’t mean your soul isn’t moving.
What Comes Next:
Eventually—without fanfare or fireworks—you’ll feel the faintest flicker return:
The impulse to create
The curiosity to explore
The whisper of joy
And when that moment comes, you’ll realize the Void didn’t take anything from you.
It simply cleared the noise so you could hear yourself again.
When the Dark Night and the Void Converge
There are moments on the awakening path that shake you.
But this one?
This one undoes you.
When the Dark Night of the Soul (emotional death) meets The Void (energetic nothingness),
you don’t just feel sad.
You don’t just feel blank.
You feel like you’re disappearing.
This Is the Threshold Where Most People Think They’re Broken
You might say:
“I don’t want to die… but I don’t know how to live.”
“I’m not even sure what’s real anymore.”
“Everything feels meaningless. Even the things I fought for.”
“I feel like a ghost in my own life.”
Your nervous system is frayed.
Your energy field is collapsing.
Your identity is dissolving.
Your will to move forward has thinned to a whisper.
But this is not the end.
This is the convergence point where the ego, the pain-body, and the outdated survival self all go offline at once—and your system doesn’t know who’s driving anymore.
It’s the Spiritual Equivalent of Death and Birth Colliding
You are dying...
But not in the way your fear tells you.
What’s dying:
The part of you that pushed through everything
The part of you that needed validation to feel real
The part that clung to roles, systems, or relationships that no longer fit
The part that didn’t yet believe you were allowed to live differently
What’s being born:
A new nervous system
A re-patterned identity built on truth, not survival
A connection to life that comes from essence, not obligation
But here’s the rub:
You don’t feel that new self yet.
So it feels like death without the relief of rebirth.
That’s what makes this convergence so painful.
Why It Feels So Much Worse Than Other Hard Times
Because when this hits, even your coping strategies collapse.
You can’t numb.
You can’t hustle.
You can’t logic your way through it.
You can’t distract yourself with progress.
Even spiritual tools stop “working” the way they used to.
And that’s because you’re being forced to stop identifying with anything external.
Your soul is demanding that your next chapter begin from the inside out—no borrowed truths, no recycled selves.
This is the void inside the cocoon.
You are liquifying.
And If You’ve Also Had Physical Illness or Trauma… It’s Even More Intense
If your body has gone through surgeries, infections, misdiagnoses, pain—it’s not just coincidence.
Your soul has been working through death codes on every level:
Physical death threats (illness, ER visits, systemic collapse)
Emotional death (grief, trauma, loss of meaning)
Identity death (ego unraveling, role collapse, disconnection from desires)
When you survive all three...
Your soul has cleared the karmic imprint of dying before being seen.
Now the test is:
Will you allow yourself to live fully, even when you don’t recognize yourself yet?
This Is the Moment That Rewrites Everything
If you can stay with yourself here—
in the silence, in the confusion, in the mess—
without forcing clarity,
without trying to rush the light back in,
you will discover that the version of you being born is so much more true, soft, powerful, and alive
than anything you’ve been before.
This is not the collapse.
This is the crowning.
The Role of the Body in Awakening
If you’ve ever found yourself lying in bed, unable to move,
wondering if your body is breaking down…
wondering if maybe this isn’t spiritual but something medical,
you’re not alone.
One of the most disorienting parts of awakening is how deeply physical it becomes.
We expect spiritual growth to happen in the mind or heart.
But awakening demands the entire body participate.
And it doesn’t always do it gently.
Surgeries, Sickness, and Strange Symptoms: What’s Really Going On?
You may have:
Gotten sick “out of nowhere”
Been misdiagnosed (or undiagnosed entirely)
Needed surgery for something that couldn’t be energetically cleared
Experienced fatigue, nerve pain, nausea, or inflammation no doctor could explain
This isn’t in your head.
And it’s not just energetic either.
Your body carries every suppressed emotion, memory, and survival instinct you’ve ever leaned on to stay alive—physically or emotionally.
So when you go through an awakening that calls those patterns into question,
your body panics.
It clamps down.
It floods you with symptoms.
Not to punish you.
But because it doesn’t know yet that you’re safe to live another way.
Body vs. Soul: Two Kinds of Tests
This part is often missed—but it’s key:
There are tests of the body, and there are tests of the soul.
And they are not the same.
Tests of the Body:
Surgeries, chronic pain, mystery symptoms
Pushing through physical limits to stay alive or functional
Holding onto old patterns out of necessity
These teach resilience, patience, survival, endurance.
Tests of the Soul (Dark Night + Void):
Losing your identity, your why, your will to try
Feeling disconnected from joy, spirit, clarity
Not recognizing yourself—and not wanting to
These teach surrender, redefinition, trust, and rebirth.
When they happen at the same time (as they often do during a full spiritual breakdown)...
It can feel like everything is unraveling.
And in many ways—it is.
The Nervous System’s Role in All This
Your nervous system is the bridge between your physical body and your energetic field.
So when your soul starts doing deep excavation,
your nervous system starts freaking out—
because it's wired to protect, not evolve.
If you suddenly stop performing, serving, achieving, people-pleasing...
your body may interpret that as a threat to survival.
Which is why many people in spiritual awakenings:
Wake up exhausted
Feel wired but tired
Struggle with digestion, sleep, inflammation, chronic pain flare-ups
Your body is catching up to the truth your soul already knows.
It takes time.
It takes softness.
And it takes deep listening.
So What Can You Do to Help the Body Through It?
Hydrate and nourish yourself, even if you don’t feel hungry
Use salt baths, essential oils, heat/cold therapy to move stored energy
Gently reconnect with your body through stretching, walking, or stillness
Speak out loud to your body:
“You are safe now. We’re allowed to live in peace.”
Remember: your body is not the enemy.
It’s the sacred vessel that agreed to carry your rebirth.
Treat it like an ally, even when it hurts.
A Note from Me—You’re Not Alone in This
I’ve lived through this unraveling too.
Not just once—but wave after wave.
I lost my dream job.
Moved 14 hours away from family.
My engagement ended.
I sold my dream home I thought I’d build my future in.
I had four surgeries leaving me on strict bedrest for months at a time.
Then further complications, like sepsis and Covid
I lost friendships.
I lost the contract jobs I was counting on while I was unwell.
And I was forced to deplete all my savings just to survive, while trying to build something new from scratch.
I was exhausted, grieving, and terrified.
But underneath all of that, I kept hearing the same quiet message:
“It’s not the end. You’re being rebuilt.”
Even when my external world was falling apart, I leaned into the inner knowing that somehow, in some way, everything was going to be okay.
That knowing didn’t erase the pain—but it gave me something to hold onto.
And now I see: the collapse wasn’t failure. It was the beginning of a return to myself.
So if you’re in it… I see you.
You’re not broken.
You’re becoming.
And your light is not lost—it’s just in the process of coming home.
You Are Not Broken. You Are Being Rewritten.
If you're in it right now—if you're lying on the floor, or staring at the ceiling, or crying in the bathtub wondering what the hell happened to me—I want you to hear this:
You are not lazy.
You are not broken.
You are not doing life wrong.
You are in a sacred transition so complete,
so all-consuming,
that it looks like death
because your old self really is dying.
But this is not the kind of death that ends you.
This is the kind of death that frees you.
You are not meant to be who you were.
You are not supposed to recognize yourself right now.
You are not failing by being still, uncertain, unmotivated, or quiet.
You are becoming someone who no longer relies on fear, survival, or self-abandonment to move through the world.
And that version of you?
They cannot be rushed.
They are not built overnight.
They are emerging in sacred time.
If All You Can Do Is Breathe—That’s Enough
You don’t need to fix this.
You don’t need to spiritualize it.
You don’t even need to make it mean something.
You just need to stay soft enough to let the old self go,
and quiet enough to let the new one arrive.
The joy will return.
So will your voice.
So will your energy, your laughter, your trust.
But when they come back—they won’t be recycled versions of the past.
They will be new.
They will be yours.
And they will not cost you your soul.
Let’s Walk This Together
I’ll be writing more on these stages of awakening—because you deserve to understand what’s happening to you in a language that holds both your spirit and your nervous system.
You’re not alone in this.
If you want to share your experience, ask questions, or just be witnessed—I welcome your voice.
Drop a comment, or message me directly. I’m listening.
And if nothing else, take this with you:
You are not dying.
You are returning.
And your return will be holy.
Ready to Be Witnessed, Guided, or Held in This Transition?
You don’t have to walk through the Dark Night or the Void alone. Whether you’re searching for clarity, healing, or simply someone to hold space while you fall apart (or rise again), I offer three unique ways to support your journey:
🔮 Channeled Guidance Reading
This session connects directly with your Higher Self—the part of you that already knows where you’re going, even if you can’t feel it yet.
I channel messages, truth codes, and next steps to help you see your current transformation with clarity and compassion. These sessions are especially powerful during times of uncertainty, soul loss, or ego death.
✨ Quantum Healing Session
In this deeper energetic session, we work together to release outdated frequencies, dissolve energetic imprints, and restore harmony in your nervous system, emotional field, and multidimensional self.
This isn’t just energy work—it’s soul-level recalibration designed to help you integrate, stabilize, and feel safe in your new frequency.
🐾 Insight from Your Pet
Yes—your animals feel what you’re going through.
They often mirror your healing, carry your emotions, or even go through their own spiritual awakenings.
These sessions offer intuitive insight into your pet’s experience, wisdom, and soul-level role in your life.
You may be surprised by what they’re holding, teaching, or trying to show you during this time.
Book a session with me here:
👉 www.jackiethechannel.com/schedule
You’re not too broken.
You’re not too late.
And you’re not meant to do this alone.
💬 Share Your Story—You’re Not Alone Here
If this blog resonated with you…
If you’re in the thick of it right now, or have walked through it before…
If you’ve felt the darkness, the blankness, the unraveling—
I’d love to hear from you.
Drop a comment below and share:
What part of this post spoke to you the most
What your own awakening has looked or felt like
Or simply let me know you're here, breathing through it too
Your words might be the light someone else needs to read.
We heal in community—gently, bravely, and together.
About the Author
Jackie Audette is an intuitive channel and animal communicator who helps people and pets navigate spiritual awakening, emotional healing, and soul-aligned transformation. Through her work as Jackie the Channel, she offers channeled readings, quantum healing, and intuitive insight from the animals who walk beside us. Jackie also runs Channeled Canine Coaching, blending energetic awareness with positive dog training for pets and their people.
